


I dont care who knows

by jackravenrobyn



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Amusement Parks, Blow Jobs, Horny Bucky, M/M, Mile High Club, Oblivious Thor, Rimming, Sex Toys, Tony Has Issues, Tony No, Vacation, naked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2129973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackravenrobyn/pseuds/jackravenrobyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, Steve didn’t need to go looking for Bucky. His old friend had managed to keep his conscience long enough to walk straight into the new Shield headquarters and hand himself in. </p><p>Tony – ever the ostentatious prick – had announced that the team would be taking a break on his private island the following week and under no circumstances was anyone to miss it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

In the end, Steve didn’t need to go looking for Bucky. His old friend had managed to keep his conscience long enough to walk straight into the new Shield headquarters and hand himself in.

The Winter Soldier was placed in isolation, in a room that looked like it came straight from the Forties. It was not dissimilar to the one Steve had woken in after being frozen, only the one Bucky was in was severely reinforced. But even then, should the Winter Soldier choose to do so, breaking out would be easy.

Maria Hill, the new head of Shield, had authorised the sedation of the Winter Soldier upon his arrival and ordered the doctors to remove the robotic arm as a preventative measure. They came back to her, just under an hour later, apologising profusely and reporting that there was nothing they could do. The arm was directly integrated into the nervous system, and removing it could potentially kill him.

They left him in that room for at least a fortnight, giving him a chance to fight off the conditioning implanted into his head before they unleashed the psychiatrists on him.

It was Natasha they sent to inform Steve that they had the Winter Soldier in their custody. She had explained that Bucky couldn’t see Steve – in case the sight of him made him regress into assassin mode – but if Steve happened to be behind the one way glass of interrogation room five at 9AM every day, he could see how his friend was doing. She left, the joking comments of Tony Stark itching to get his hands on Bucky’s robotic arm echoing in his head.

The day of the first therapy session found both Steve and Natasha watching intently from behind the glass. Steve was almost pressed against it, but Natasha stood back. Bucky was already sitting on one side of the metal table; his body almost slumped in defeat against the backrest.

* * *

 

Bucky was resigned to this…this ‘therapy’. The agents who had evaluated him for remaining homicidal tendencies had told him that it could help to bring back his memories. He remembered some things, mostly endless missions that all merged into one if he thought too hard about them.

Falling. He remembered falling from a great height. Of the main who claimed to know him…distinct facts and memories he had none, he only had strong feelings regarding him. He didn’t know what they were, but he just _knew_ that Steve had been important to him.

The door opened quietly, and closed again before a woman of indeterminate age sat in front of him. “How are you today, James?”

The winter soldier frowned down at his fidgeting hands, trying to interpret the feeling of unease at being called that.

“I-“ He swallowed and tried again. “I don’t think anyone ever called me that.”

“What did they call you?” He pictured the mans concerned face in his mind, trying to will him to tell him who he was.

“I don’t know, ask him.”

“Him?” She enquired, pen poised above her pad of paper. He felt small. He felt stupid.

“Steve. Ask Stevie.” He wasn’t quite sure where the pet name came from, it just flowed so easily out of his mouth that it must have been natural to him at some point.

The woman gave a wry smile, “I’m here to find out what you know.”

“Nothing.”

She ignored his last sulky statement and pressed on. “Do you remember your date of birth?”

“No.”

“Where you grew up?”

“No.”

“Parents names?”

“ _NO!”_

“Did you have someone special? A girlfriend?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Bucky roared, slamming his fisted hands down onto the metal table. The woman didn’t move, as though she was used to violent outbursts from highly volatile former assassins.  His head bowed over the still clenched fists, letting his long hair hide the tears of frustration that spilled from his eyes. The woman waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I want him. I need to…” He trailed off, not knowing why he had wanted Steve.

“Why?”

He looked up at her. Tears running freely down his cheeks now.

“I don’t know.”

He sobbed once, loudly. He swallowed past the knot in his throat and looked back down at the fist shaped dent his prosthetic hand left in the table.

“He means something, he’s important. That’s all I know.”

The woman scribbled notes in her notepad while Bucky regained his composure. She put the pen down

“You’ve done very well today James. It won’t be easy but – “

“What was my full name?”

She looked at him speculatively for a moment. “James Buchanan Barnes.”

His brow furrowed as he concentrated, willing the memory that was just out of reach to come just a little closer. And then it was. There was a small, frail boy tugging him by the hand. He looked back at him with a smile and urged, “C’mon, Bucky!” when the boy turned away it was gone.

He gasped, his eyes darting to meet the woman’s patient gaze.

“He…he called me Bucky. Steve.”

She smiled at his awe-filled gaze. “Thank you Bucky, I’ll see you tomorrow. Try not to strain; your memories won’t come back any faster that way.”

* * *

 

Steve had to fight back tears of his own as he watched the session. He had wished that he was allowed to go to Bucky when he was asking for him, and he could only barely manage to stop himself. He watched as the psychiatrist left, and Bucky was once again left alone in the room. He turned his head to stare at the one way glass, directly at the one way glass, directly at him.

“Steve…” He murmured with longing.

The door opened again, and Bucky was escorted unrestrained from the room.

“You should’ve told me I was barking up the wrong tree, trying to set you up with women.”

Steve jumped. Natasha had the ability to be unnaturally silent.  He had forgotten she was there.

“Not entirely. He’s…the only one I’ve ever…”

“Steve its okay. Things are a lot different to how they were in the Forties.”

“They are?”

“Yeah. You know Alice? Hills P.A.?” Steve nodded. “She’s married to another woman.”

“Married?” Steve spluttered in shock. The church wasn’t condemning them anymore?

“Yep. They’re going through the adoption process too.” Steve’s head spun. “Some people are still against it, of course, but it’s widely accepted nowadays.”

Steve wouldn’t take her word for it; he made a mental note to ask Sam about it during their morning run the next day. Sam was realistic, down to earth and wouldn’t mess with him. Natasha did that sometimes.

* * *

 

Steve made it to the viewing room just in time the next day – the psychiatrist was just taking a seat in front of his friend.  Sam had confirmed what Natasha had told him the previous day. The two had spent longer than usual running that morning, giving them time to talk about the situation.

His focus shifted back to the pair in front of him when the psychiatrist asked, “How are you today, Bucky?”

”Better.”

His friend gave a small smile.  He had shaved off hi developing beard, making him look more like the Bucky he knew. The star had gone too, the red one on his metal arm. Steve knew that would have helped with the change in his mood.

“Good. Have you been sleeping well?”

* * *

 

Bucky looked away at the question, almost embarrassed by his weakness.

“No. I have…dreams.”

“What kind of dreams?”

Bucky fidgeted with the hem of his vest. There were no other kinds of shirts provided in his room and Bucky didn’t like to ask for others, as much as he hated them, because Shield was already doing so much to help him. Vests were too…exposing. Back in the day, he hadn’t minded lounging in his apartment in one, though he didn’t know quite when he had remembered that.

No though, he was self-conscious about his prosthetic arm. Not exactly the arm, but the flesh it was attached to. His left shoulder was a tangled mess of scar tissue, and Bucky knew people would look at it with disgust.

“I used to be a soldier, didn’t I? In a war.”

“Is that what you dream of?”

“Sometimes.”

“What do you see?” Bucky wasn’t trying to be difficult; he knew that he was hindering his progress. Bucky had never been overly fond of talking about himself. He cleared his throat softly.

“There are dozens of us, all in different uniforms. Most of us ragged…some are struggling to walk. A man in blue is leading us…to base I think. He has his arm round me the whole way. I think he’s afraid that if he lets go he will lose me again. He’s always worried of that.”

The woman looked contemplative for a moment. “What does this memory make you feel?”

“Happy. Relieved. And scared.” Bucky dropped to a whisper for the last word. “Scared that I’ll lose Steve again.”

He doesn’t mention the filthy whispers in his ear of what Steve had wanted him to do when they were finally alone.

“I think he was my best friend.”

She looked at him for a long moment before scribbling something on her pad.

* * *

 

Steve never missed a session, even when the weeks merged into months. He had watched as Tony snuck into the room after one in order to ‘investigate how this hunk of junk works’.  Never once, throughout all of his phenomenal progress, did Bucky even hint at their relationship being more than platonic. The psychiatrist had even started using Steve to confirm events and suggest prompts to things he was close to remembering.

In the end, Tony could do no more than offer Bucky an upgrade, explaining with much jargon that removing the existing prosthetic would cause more harm than good.

Bucky got frustrated often, but somehow there was always a non-dented table in the room every day. The only time Bucky had truly flown into a rage was fairly early on. He had asked if Steve was watching the sessions, as well as demanding to know why Steve couldn’t watch from inside the room.

Bucky did not like being told that he couldn’t see Steve until he was deemed not a threat.

He had only calmed when Steve begged him over the comm. System, pointing out that getting angry wouldn’t get them what they wanted. Bucky kept his hair long.

Then the psychiatrist hit a wall.

Progress had ground to a halt, almost.  The psychiatrist had long since suspected that therapy alone would only be able to do so much for Bucky.  She took her case to Director Hill, and got it approved. The next day after therapy, the woman joined Steve in the observation room.

Steve made no move to speak, so they stood and watched Bucky for a moment.

“I've got permission from Director Hill. Sessions are being reduced to twice a week.”

Steve gave a weak smile; this was the only time he could see Bucky and it was being more than halved. Still, he was happy for his friend.

“That’s great, doc!” She smiled widely – the most emotion Steve had ever seen on her face.

“We’re releasing him into your custody Captain Rogers, for a trial period to begin with, but hopefully it will be on a more permanent basis.”


	2. Chapter 2

Tony – ever the ostentatious prick – had announced that the team would be taking a break on his private island the following week and under no circumstances was anyone to miss it. Steve had tried to get out of it, claiming Bucky wouldn’t be comfortable around so many new people, but Stark had insisted. He said that they would have a ‘nice cosy little hut type thing’ to themselves.

The plane would be leaving the very day Bucky’s trial run would begin. The psychiatrist had explained everything to him beforehand. Bucky would have a tag on one ankle to track him (on the slight chance that he went AWOL) and he would still have to have his therapy sessions via webcam. Steve didn’t know what one of these was, but he agreed regardless. Anything to get his best friend back.

They had hugged like old friends outside of the Shield building, and had taken Steve’s motorcycle straight to the airport. Steve may have been imagining it but it felt as though Bucky was pressing closer than he used to, holding tighter than was strictly necessary.

Tony’s private jet, quite frankly, terrified him. He burned red every time he looked at the pole, knowing what it was for. Bucky stared at it curiously, like he couldn’t understand the purpose of it on a plane.

As soon as they reached cruising altitude, Tony jumped up and started handing out the alcoholic beverages to the team. He seemed to be on a mission to get everybody drunk, refilling glasses as they began to look anything less than full. He even handed Steve a whole bottle of vodka and told him to down it. Stark didn’t believe that Steve would remain unaffected after quite so much alcohol.

Steve downed the bottle in one go, proving that he couldn’t get drunk to the very much dismayed Tony. Unfortunately, drinking the whole bottle made him need to go to the bathroom. He left to the sound of Natasha and Clint exchanging ‘friendly’ blows.

* * *

 

“Didn’t know you were gay, Cap.” For some unfathomable reason Tony had broken into the locked bathroom cubicle on the plane.

“Coming from the man who just broke into the bathroom.”

“So what is it, he doesn’t feel the same way?” Steve tightened his grip on the small sink.

“He doesn’t remember.” He wasn’t quite sure why he was telling _Tony_ of all people.

“I've seen the way he looks at you, Captain tight pants, and trust me; he does. Just a thought: perhaps he isn’t saying anything because he’s still thinking like the Forties. Y’know, arrests, beatings, that kinda thing. You’ve not been alone long enough for the confessions to come pouring out. Just a thought.”

Tony opened the door, Steve not far behind him. Bucky stood outside the door, his flesh hand raised to knock on it. Clearly he had been seeking Steve in private, as they barely had a chance to speak before take-off.

Bucky backed up to let Tony and Steve out. Tony stepped out and clapped Bucky on his metallic shoulder with a dull thud.

“You guys are going to love the surprises I left for you in your hut.”

The two men watched him saunter off down the corridor. While Bucky was still staring after Stark with bewilderment, Steve yanked him by the front of his shirt and locked the door behind them.

“Buck…that was not what it looked like. Tony is a _very_ weird man.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Steve gaped, not even sure where to begin to answer that.

Bucky looked hesitant, a line forming between his brows as he frowned in concentration. “There’s more, isn’t there? I remember…I remember on the walk back to camp, you said the filthiest things…that you wanted back at your tent…we were lovers, weren’t we?”

Bucky stared earnestly at Steve, imploring him to give the answer he hoped to hear. The answer that said he wasn’t imagining it all.

Steve leant in, hustling his friend back against the door. He pressed against him, pressing his lips against the beautiful downturned ones that were so familiar to him once. He moved with passion, trying to pour everything he felt into it. He savoured the taste, giving a slight grind before he pulled away.

“We still can be if you want.” He murmured into Bucky’s ear, giving the lobe a nibble before pulling back and herding the stunned man back to the main area of the plane.

Steve was spectacularly sick over the side of the boat on their way to the island proper. It probably didn’t help that Tony was the one who was driving it. Bucky patted his back sympathetically, grimacing each time Steve heaved.

* * *

 

Each hut slept two, or so Tony said. There was even ‘conveniently’ just the right number of huts. Tony had handed out keys while Steve sat on the golden sand with his head between his knees. He quietly watched them out of the corner of his eye as he willed his stomach to calm.

“There you go, metal man.” Tony drawled, tossing Bucky their key. Bucky caught them automatically with a whir of his prosthetic, his face clouding with anger. Thankfully he didn’t press it. That would definitely be in their favour during the next therapy session. If either of them ever figured out what a webcam was.

* * *

 

Steve stood in the doorway to the bedroom, mentally cursing tony. Bucky stood behind him, looking over his shoulder into the room. The pervert Stark had given them only one bed. It had room for them both, but that was beside the point. Bucky cleared his throat delicately.

“I take left, you take right?”

Steve grinned over his shoulder. “Just like old times.” Bucky dropped a quick kiss to his neck.

“I’m going to check out the rest of this place.”

Steve nodded absently, and stepped into the bedroom.  Tony had claimed he would provide clothes for all of them, so both he and Bucky had only the clothes they came in. Steve made for the bedside table on his side; meaning to check for whatever horrendous garments Tony had left for them. Not speedos…not speedos…Steve hoped as he reached for the handle of the top drawer.

Steve let out a strangled choking noise. The drawer contained only one item – a bottle of cherry flavoured lube. He recoiled in horror and hurriedly shut it with slightly more force than was necessary. Perhaps they were in the next drawer down?

Steve stared into the drawer and blinked. His squinted and cocked his head, trying to figure out what it was? Was that piece of plastic penis shaped? Steve slammed the drawer closed, cursing Tony Stark yet again for putting goddamn _dildos_ in their room. Was that man ever not a pervert?

A deep yell resounded through the hut. Steve rushed towards the source of the sound, half fearing the worst and half dreading that there were more ‘surprises’ in the hut.

“Buck?”

Steve stepped into the bathroom with trepidation. Bucky stood facing the bath, his frame shaking almost imperceptibly. He whirled around, brandishing another dildo at Steve, while he screeched; “Steve, why the fuck is there a damn dildo in the tub?!”

He looked disdainfully at it and opened the cabinet above the sink.  Bucky had meant to put the thing out of their sight, but paused when something fell from the cabinet into the sink. The two men looked at the handcuffs for a long moment.

“Steve…”

Bucky didn’t need to voice the question; Steve knew him inside out and could tell what he meant.

“Tony is a pervert.”

Bucky shook his head. What he had seen ofTtony so far would not make him disbelieve this statement. He took a deep, calming breath, collected up the plastic dick and handcuffs and shut them firmly in the cabinet.

“I need to get changed.” He announced, leaving the room.

Steve had just gathered his wits and left the bathroom when he heard his friend yell, “What the hell is a yaoi paddle?!”

Steve stormed out of the hut and marched up the beach to Starks huge hut. He threw open the door unceremoniously without knocking.

“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at, Stark?”

The billionaire lay sprawled out on a chaise longue in only a pair of garishly patterned trunks. He was clearly waiting for Pepper to be done changing too.  He propped himself up on his elbows lazily and pulled a cocky grin.

“Like the surprise, Rogers?”

* * *

 

The rest of the afternoon was spent lounging on the golden sand with the rest of the team. Bucky had only just managed to restrain himself from punching Tony’s smug face. He had sat away from Steve, mildly irritated at his social dependence on the other man. He could talk to people just fine on his own.

“I presume you heard about the…surprise…Tony left us?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence with the bird-man. He wanted to know things. Tony was too embarrassing to ask, and both Thor and Bruce looked like they would be as clueless as him.

“Yeah, Nat and I got a similar one in our room. Don’t worry about it too much; it’s just Tony being friendly. Don’t tell him if you use any of it though, he’ll be insufferable then.”

Bucky had to agree with that. Nobody would know, _especially_ not Tony. Bucky snorted softly, “We didn’t have anything like that back then. Hell, I can’t even tell what half of them are for.”

Clint lowered his sunglasses, staring almost incredulously at Bucky over the top of them. He scrambled to his feet and pulled Bucky to his own.

“C’mon, I’m giving you an education in 21st century sex.”

Clint trotted off towards the hut he shared with Steve. Bucky gave a mischievous grin in response to Steve’s questioning look as he followed the bird. Steve _had_ to have been listening in. Bucky would just have to teach Steve everything he learnt later. Steve was always more of a hands on kind of guy.

Everyone was shattered from travelling all day, so they all turned in early for the night. Bucky and Steve were dead to the world the moment their heads hit the pillows. They were so tired they didn’t even get under the covers, simply falling asleep where they fell.


	3. Chapter 3

It was going to be a lazy couple of weeks, a fact for which Bucky was grateful. He needed some time to straighten his mind, away from the prying fingers of his shrink. It was all very well telling her things he had remembered, feelings, fleeting thoughts, but what were they if he couldn’t make sense of it all?

He stood in the water, letting it lap just above his knees. The others were either dozing on the beach behind him or had their nose in some form of literature.  It had been so long since he had felt peace in his surroundings. The waves caressed his skin rhythmically as Bucky turned his face upwards to the beat of the sun and let his thoughts wander.  He found things clicked into place when he was unfocused like that.

The soft shh shh of the waves lulled him into a half doze, still standing knee deep in the warm water. A stray bit of seaweed brushed up his leg, took hold of the bottom of his swimming shorts and – oh who was he kidding, he knew it wasn’t seaweed.  He was just feeling far too serene to do anything about it. Down came his shorts.

Clint let out a crow of triumph and quickly waded out of arm’s reach of the Winter Soldier.  The others – whose attention was drawn by Clint celebrating his success - stared at the sight before them.

Bucky bit his lip coyly, placing his hand on his hip and tangling its bionic counterpart in his long hair.  It was a ridiculous, over the top pose, which was exactly why he had done it.

All eyes were on him. Steve was blushing slightly. Tony was wheezing and huffing and generally sounding like a cat being strangled. Thor and Bruce were simply staring, Bruce’s hands frozen in mid-air as though he had been gesticulating to explain something.  Natasha was looking at him over a copy of Tolstoy in the original Russian with an eyebrow raised.

“Nice balls, Barnes.” She drawled in a bored tone.

Steve’s blush deepened and his gaze slid involuntarily to the body part in question. He shifted surreptitiously – probably trying to hide a semi, Bucky thought.

“I can’t believe Steve gets that all to himself.” Tony ground out past his dying pet noises.  The wheezing stopped suddenly as a devious look crossed his face. He turned to Pepper and Bucky had no doubt of his intent to ask permission to sleep with Steve and himself.

Pepper took one look at the scheming eyes and winning smile. “Tony, no.”

Natasha shook her head at the couple next to her. Pepper had gone straight back to her paperwork and Tony was pouting but still staring at Bucky’s naked form regardless.

“You should probably put it away; you’re only making them all feel inferior.”

Bucky bent to retrieve the shorts, noting with a grin that Steve was now tomato red and squirming as though there was a spider in his shorts. As he pulled up the shorts he teased in Russian, “That’s super soldier serum for you! God forbid they see Steve, _then_ they’d have something to feel inferior about!”

Natasha simply rolled her eyes at him and went back to her book, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips.

Bucky was the only one who found it suspicious that Steve excused himself to their hut moments later. It was either that or none of the others mentioned it. He knew exactly _why_ Steve had left and he knew exactly _what_ he had left to do. Sadly, Bucky knew the other man had left to take a cold shower rather than relieve himself.

He managed to follow Steve after he had gone without comment from the others.

* * *

 

The soft hiss of the shower was the only sound in the hut. Bucky crept towards the sound, shedding clothes as silently as a wild cat on the hunt. The hiss grew louder as he carefully slipped into the room, locking the door after thinking about it for a second. He knew once the cubicle was open the element of surprise would be broken. He wouldn't have time for distractions.

 He slipped into the small space behind Steve, closing the door behind him with his right hand and reaching around Steve with his left to crank the water temperature up from bollock freezing to bearable. He pressed his naked body against the broad expanse of Steve’s back.

"Stevie..." He murmured into his ear, nibbling on the lobe as he trailed off.

Steve’s head lolled back onto Bucky’s shoulder as he began to nibble down his tanned neck. Steve let out a breathy moan at a sharp suck to the jugular. Bucky reached up to play with Steve’s nipples, letting the other hand caress ribs gently. It was a strange moment to remember that he was left handed. Steve flinched when Bucky made contact with the hardened nubs and Bucky pulled his bionic arm away as if he had been burnt. Steve reached behind him, took hold of the metallic wrist and tried to pull it back to his chest. 

"Buck, no. It was just cold."

Bucky relaxed control over the arm, gears whirring as Steve moved his hand back to playing with sensitive nipples. Steve craned his neck, catching Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss. He let Steve take control to begin with, before he grew impatient and ravaged the Captains’ mouth. They pulled apart panting. Bucky teased his way back to Steve’s ear.

"I'm going to stick my tongue in you and you're going to cum so hard like that."

Steve groaned in response, reluctantly pulling away from his lovers’ heat to arrange himself so that he leant against his crossed forearms on the wall. His backside was sticking out obscenely, but that was always the way Bucky liked best. Steve shifted in anticipation at the wet smack of Bucky’s knees hitting the bottom of the tub. 

"Hold yourself open for me."

Steve practically mewled. Domineering Bucky was his favourite, and it had been so damn long... Steve used his forehead to keep himself upright against the wall while he moved his hands to do as his friend had demanded. Bucky stared at Steve’s exposed, quivering hole. God, he was just perfect. Without warning he leant in and licked a long stripe over that pucker, pulling back in fascination to watch it clench in anticipation.

"Buck!"

Steve whined in protest when nothing more happened. Bucky chuckled, biting Steve’s cheek in retaliation. Before Steve could protest further, Bucky began to languidly lick and suck at his hole. He wiggled his tongue in, fucking shallowly. He was taunting Steve, and it was torture for them both after so long of not getting what they needed. Bucky brought his right hand to Steve’s thigh, gently kneading his way up to where his mouth had worked Steve open just enough. 

"No," Steve groaned, panting before continuing, "the other hand...use the other hand." 

Bucky was hardly surprised by this request.  He had noticed the way the super soldier had looked at his prosthetic - with curiosity not disgust. Bucky skipped the slow build he had tried for with the other hand, simply tearing his mouth away and pressing the fingertip in slowly. He stopped where the first knuckle should have been.

"Do you want it Steve?" He wriggled the fingertip as much as he could, drawing a shudder from the man in front of him.

"God damn it Bucky, of course I - mfgh!" Steve cut off a cry as Bucky suddenly sank the entirety of the finger into his lover.

He shifted the finger, rubbing the spot that made Steve keen. He leant back in to lap at the rim with his tongue while he continued to press and circle his lover’s prostate. Bucky reached round Steve with his flesh hand, taking hold of the twitching cock. He stroked once, twice, three times before the combination of stimulation pushed Steve over the edge with a loud cry.

* * *

 

The two men returned to the beach separately; Bucky first with a spring to his step, and Steve after - still red and somewhat flustered. Nobody commented on them both being wet, though Bucky noticed Clint giving him a knowing look and a double thumbs up when Steve wasn’t looking. The group were exhausted from a combination of both the long day and persisting jet lag, and consequently retired to their respective huts early in the evening. Steve and Bucky weren't the only ones to shuffle straight to bed with the intention of sleeping for at least twelve hours. Bucky was the first to strip down and draw back the rumpled, slept on covers.

"Steve..."

Steve looked at Bucky, and then in the direction indicated to him. He closed his eyes, silently cursing Tony _yet again_. Underneath the covers was a myriad of condom packets. All flavours, shapes, textures and even...was that a glow in the dark one?

"Stark?" Bucky questioned, shaking Steve out of his wonder. 

"He takes some getting used to." Steve sighed, pulling back the covers entirely and dumping all of the assorted condoms into the bedside drawer containing the rubber dick.

"Go to bed Buck, they'll still be there tomorrow." Steve shook his head, knowing full well what Bucky was thinking about doing.


	4. Chapter 4

The only sound coming from the super soldiers’ bedroom was that of even, sleep heavy breathing. Tony quelled his momentary disappointment at not catching them in the act and poked his head around the half open door. He grinned deviously, and whipped out his phone as he stepped into the room properly. The scene before him was almost too good to be true.

 Steve lay on his back, an arm curled around Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky lay draped across Steve, baring his ass to the world. The way Bucky had his leg draped over Steve even allowed for him to see that Steve was only wearing a pair of American flag boxers. Picture perfect. He took a photo of the glorious sight, and tweeted it with the caption 'star spangled man strikes again!'

He slipped his phone back into the pocket of his shorts. 

"Right!" He cried, clapping his hands to wake the sleeping men. They both jumped. Steve opened his eyes to blearily squint at Tony while Bucky groaned curses in Russian, pressing further into Steve and burying his face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

"We're taking the boat out to the reef to swim with dolphins and...other naturey stuff. Be at the jetty in ten minutes." Tony pranced from the room, eternally gleeful about the picture he had just managed to get.

After the front door slammed closed, Steve let his eyes slide closed. He was on holiday; he didn’t have to get up at obscene hours at the pleasure of tony Stark, of all people.  Bucky grinned into Steve’s neck, taking some skin between his teeth and gently suckling on it. Steve’s neck was a spot that could get him from zero to horny in about six seconds.

Steve hummed in pleasure, raking the hand that had been curled around shoulders trough hair to grab a fistful. He used the hand to tug Bucky away and pull him insistently to meet his lips.  Bucky gave Steve the illusion of control, letting him do as he pleased. While he was distracted, Bucky moved himself so that a muscular thigh rested between Steve’s legs. He moved it purposely, making Steve moan.

Bucky broke away from Steve, avoiding his lips as they sought his own again, instead pressing kisses to his collarbones, his pectorals, his sternum, his abs. When his wandering lips reached the waistband of star spangled shorts, Bucky looked up through his eyelashes at Steve.  Steve looked at him expectantly; face flushed, wide eyed and panting.

He smirked at the sight of a debauched Steve Rogers, and tugged the shorts down. Bucky stifled a moan. He hadn’t clapped eyes on Steve’s dick in over seventy years. He could easily stare at it for hours.

“Buck!” Steve protested. Apparently this had been something he had done before, if Steve’s tone was any indication.

“Impatient, Stevie?” Bucky didn’t wait for an answer, stretching his lips almost obscenely to swallow down his lover.

* * *

 

“Ugh, what’s taking them so long??” Tony demanded of the clueless group. Most shrugged or gave him blank looks.

“Maybe they’re fucking,” Clint muttered, sniggering as Natasha elbowed him to shut him up.

“I shall fetch the Captain and his metal friend!” Thor announced, striding down the jetty like a man with supreme purpose.

Thor banged on the wooden door. “Brothers! Are you in here?”

Bucky looked up at Steve through his eyelashes, urging him to answer. Steve threw his head back, trying to ignore both Thor pounding on the door and Bucky’s urging stare.

“Your presence is required at the jetty.”

Bucky gave a particularly hard suck, forcing Steve to answer. Despite his obvious mortification.

“Yes! Coming!”

* * *

 

Thor returned to the jetty with a pensive frown on his face.

“What’s up?” Clint asked, seeing the look on his face.

“The star spangled one confuses me very much. He sounded as if he were being…strangled when he said he was coming.” Clint cackled, bending at the waist and slapping his thigh with amusement.

Tony looked at Thor with mock seriousness. “He didn’t mean coming in that way, Thor.”

Thor continued to look puzzled until Bucky and Steve eventually arrived. Mild horror dawned on his face briefly as he took in Steve’s flush and Bucky’s red, swollen lips.

* * *

 

It wasn’t until a couple of days later that Steve realised he hadn’t been returning the favours, so to speak. Neither had Bucky pressed it. Before, he would always draw attention to it when he wanted something, whether it was pressing against him or crudely telling Steve that he wanted to come sometime soon as well. Steve had been aware of neither of these taking place.

* * *

 

Steve woke with a start, not knowing entirely why. He reached next to him, meaning to snuggle with Bucky until he fell back to sleep. Bucky wasn’t there though. The sheets next to him were not entirely cold, so he hadn’t been gone long.

A hollow dread settled like lead in Steve’s stomach: what if Bucky had regressed back into the Winter Soldier? Steve knew it was almost too good to be true. Nightmares  aside, Bucky had shown no signs of regression whatsoever.

Steve threw off the covers, rushing out of the hut without bothering to consider putting on more than the boxers he had slept in. The moonlit figure in the sea almost directly in front of their hut made Steve slow to a cautious walk. Bucky gave no sign that he was aware of Steve’s presence; he stayed stock still waist deep in seawater.

“What’re you doing out here Buck?” Steve called from the shore.

“I had a dream. Didn’t want to wake you up.”

Steve took slow steps forward into the water, watching Bucky for any signs of tension, or that he wanted to be alone. Bucky remained limp as he approached. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and nuzzled his face into his neck, loose hair tickling him as he did so.       

“I’d rather you woke me up than have you sneaking off.” He shifted and bit gently as a reprimand, “Come back to bed.”

Not missing the blatant suggestion, Bucky tensed. “Steve…”

Steve let go of the other man, taking a step back to control his raging hormones and stop himself.

“Or we could just cuddle or something – “

“Steve! I _want_ to, it’s just…” Bucky turned his back to the sea, grabbing hold of Steve’s hands. His face screwed up as he tried to string together the words he needed to explain. “…it hasn’t worked that way for a while.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, crease forming between his eyebrow as he frowned in confusion.

Bucky looked down pointedly. Steve continued to frown. Bucky groaned in frustration and covered his face with the metal hand to hide his embarrassment at being forced to say it.

“I haven’t got hard since the Forties.”

“Oh.”

“I tried but…” Steve’s face slicks back to his reassuring, motivational smile.

“It’s okay Buck, we can experiment with a few things.” He tugged Bucky behind him back to the hut. He shook his head slightly to himself when he looked back to see that his friend had been wandering the beach as naked as the day he had been born.

* * *

 

After two whole days ensconced and all but barricaded in their hut, the two men snuck over to Tony’s hut. They had sex on Tony’s bed, left it a mess, and left the pile of condoms that had been left in their room at the foot of the bed by means of an explanation.

Tony’s yell out of outrage could be heard by the rest of the Avengers, who were arranged around a fire on the beach, toasting marshmallows. Bucky smirked while Steve pretended to know nothing, though his blush said otherwise. Tony didn’t mention it when he eventually staggered from his hut.


	5. Chapter 5

The last day of holiday finally came. As much as Steve enjoyed the company of his friends, he couldn’t wait to have the privacy of his apartment back.  The last day they spent on the nearby mainland, dragged into an amusement park by the hyperactive Tony. Bruce had been excused to visit some friends of his that lived in the area on account of the fact that he didn’t think it would be safe for him to go. Natasha and Clint had disappeared as soon as they got there, and Steve privately suspected they were at the shooting booths settling the age-old argument over who was the better shooter.  Thor had also managed to mysteriously vanish somewhere around the candy floss vendor.

“Oh, Stevie…” Bucky breathed, awestruck.

Steve followed his gaze to what was quite possibly the most horrific roller coaster he had ever seen. The shining look of longing in Bucky’s eyes was blatant.

“No way, Buck, the cyclone is enough roller coasters to last me a lifetime.”

His lovers face dropped into a scowl, and Steve could’ve sworn he heard him muttering sullenly, “Just cuz you threw up…”

Behind them, Tony was getting similar rejection. The billionaire trotted up behind them, took hold of Bucky’s metal arm and tugged him insistently towards the ride. “C’mon, we can have fun without them.”

Steve groaned at the sight of them dashing off together. He turned to Pepper, “That is possibly the worst combination ever.”

The two men returned with butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-their-mouths looked on their faces.  Clearly they had been scheming and - knowing Bucky and Tony - it could never mean good things would happen. Steve quickly made an excuse for Bucky and himself to separate from the other two.

* * *

 

Piercing eyes glinted in the low-lit cabin as they glared across at him. Bucky sat diagonally from him in the set of four seats they had acquired for themselves on the jet. The four behind Steve was occupied by Clint and Natasha, who were sleeping draped over each other. The four behind Bucky hosted a sleeping Pepper, Tony and Bruce who had – until recently – been arguing over some fine point regarding science. Thor was sprawled out on the floor further down the jet at the bottom of the stripper pole. Mercifully he still had all of his clothes on.

The twinkling gaze directed at him spoke of hunger, of need, and it promised sinful things to come. If Steve had to name that look, he would call it – rather crudely – Bucky’s ‘sit on my dick’ face. Bucky smirked, rising fluidly to his feet. He jerked his head, clearly meaning that Steve was to follow him. Steve followed the trail to the small, office-like room towards the back of the plane.

Bucky was reclining in the chair behind the desk, one hand languidly rubbing over the crotch of his swim shorts. Steve gaped.

“Buck…” He managed to choke out.

“Mmmmm?” Bucky questioned.

“We can’t have sex on a plane! Someone might walk in! We might crash or-" Steve cut himself short when Bucky’s pink tongue flicked out to slowly moisten his lips.

“So?” He taunted, biting coquettishly on his lower lip. Steve gulped audibly.

He vaulted over the desk, landing in Bucky’s expectant lap. He rolled his hips hard, jolting Bucky into action. He pulled Steve into a heated kiss, his hands going straight to Steve’s zipper without preamble.  There was a sense of urgency in the air, and they were both more than willing to get straight to it. They weren’t in the mood to tease.

He shoved Steve off of him long enough to yank of his swim shorts. Bucky had a vague recollection of Steve opening his trousers as much as possible before his lover clambered back on him and did what he loved most; sat straight on his dick.

They both groaned at the momentary relief of desire. Bucky waited a long moment, before thrusting up as hard as he could with Steve’s considerable muscular weight on him.  Steve threw his head back with a wanton groan, his hips already moving in retaliation.

“Shh love, wouldn’t want the others to find out.” Bucky murmured in Steve’s ear, nipping sharply on the skin of his neck. From then on they were reduced to needy gasps and hot, hard fucking as they tried desperately to bring the other to climax first.

The two staggered back down the plane to their seats, bone tired and ready to drop. Bucky surprised Steve by not sitting in his previous seat – instead choosing to curl up against Steve. He smiled softly to himself, gently petting Bucky’s hair as he slept until he too lost the battle with unconsciousness.

* * *

 

They stepped off of the plane to the brisk late autumnal chill of New York. The press – as they had expected – were waiting for them the moment the jet door opened.

Steve was first to disembark, needing to escape the confines and breathe natural air.  As usual, he was blinded by the flash of cameras as he descended the steps. Bucky followed him closely, trying not to look down as he descended. He had a minor thing against heights. The others followed at a more sedate distance. They were bombarded with questions before they even reached the bottom.

“Mr Rogers, is it true that you are seeing the man you were caught on camera cuddling with?”

“How can the national symbol of America be so perverse? Do you think that this will reflect badly on America and ruin our international reputation?”

Steve froze in shock, overwhelmed by the nature and invasiveness of the questions. All he could think was ‘where did this come from?’

Bucky couldn’t move either. He could only hear the accusation, the hatred, the disgust. It was his worst nightmare in the Forties, and he was living through it now, when things were supposed to be better. When he was supposed to have the liberty to love who he chose to love without prosecution.

Unless…it was him that was the problem. He simply wasn’t good enough for someone like Steve. He had known this all along, now it was confirmed as truth. His breathing quickened, on the verge of hyperventilation as his eyes darted wildly searching for an escape.

The other had reached them by then and Clint was mouthing off, calling them invasive vultures. Not that Bucky noticed that. He just pushed his way through the swarm of bodies and ran.

Steve let himself be guided to one of Starks fancy cars, and remained dumbfounded throughout the ride back to the tower. Once they pulled up in the underground garage he roused himself. He asked Jarvis if Bucky was on the premises. He wasn’t. But then again Bucky had only been there once.

 Steve found where Tony’s staff had hidden his motorbike (between two fancy cars at the far end of the car park) and left, despite to protests of the other Avengers. He didn’t know what he was expecting to find back at his apartment. Bucky curled up asleep in his bed, most likely.

But no. His apartment was heart crushingly empty. Steve tossed and turned in his bed that night, sick with worry for his absent lover. If it would have done any good, he would’ve gone looking for him. But Bucky still knew how to fall off of the face of the Earth when he wanted to.

Steve spent the best part of the next week in a lazy haze. He stayed in nothing but the same pair of boxers he had been wearing on the plane. He didn’t shower. He ate commendable amounts of junk food whilst in front of the TV. He even had a vague recollection of Sam visiting at some point.  He had urged Steve to get up, to stop feeling sorry for himself. Steve had ignored him, and eventually Sam had left.

“Now look here, Captain cries a lot, sitting on your shapely ass all day is getting you nowhere.” Tony had broken into his apartment. It vaguely occurred to Steve that tony wasn’t _supposed_ to care.

“If he doesn’t want to be found, I won’t be able to find him.” Steve murmured.

Tony huffed with impatience. “Then you’ll have to force his hand, capsicle.”

Steve frowned. Evidently this was an option that hadn’t occurred to him. “How would I do that?”

Tony grinned manically at him, glad to be given free rein to help Steve. “Leave it to me and do as you’re told. Pretty soon we’ll have the horny soldier back and kicking!”

* * *

 

Steve had not been too happy with what Tony had jokingly named ‘Steve’s coming out press conference’. He was definitely going against his better judgment going along with this, but if it did what he was hoping for – it would be more than worth it.

He was roused from his contemplation as the first reporter was selected to ask a question. Thankfully only the more liberal reporters had been allowed to attend.

“Do you have anything to say regarding recent speculation over potentially compromising images of you with another man?”

Steve gave the reporter his most innocent, boyish smile. “What do you want to know?”

“Are you in a romantic relationship with the other man in the picture?”

Steve blinked. His mind raced with pros and cons, different responses and outcomes. His jaw set with determination. He opened his mouth to answer.

And the room went dark.

Bucky dropped from the ceiling with a delicate thud in front of Steve. He looked at him while the reporters descended into chaos, trying desperately to fix their cameras. The journalists sat there smugly, Dictaphones still in hand.

“Have you been watching me all this time?” Bucky ignored him.

“Don’t do it, Stevie. Don’t do anything you will live to regret.” Steve stared back at him, aghast that Bucky thought he would regret it.

“The only thing I regret is not having everyone know how I feel about you before now.”  The journalists crooned. The reporters began to stop their frantic behaviour in favour of watching the scene unfolding in front of them. ”I am in love with you, James Barnes, and I don’t care who knows it!”

Sadness washed over Bucky’s face. “Steve…” Whatever he was intending to say never came out.  Bucky trailed off, looking imploringly at him. “God dammit Rogers, you’re making me soft.” He muttered, yanking him closer by the lapels of his jacket.

“Thought you already were,” Steve teased.

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

Bucky closed the distance between them, kissing to give a show for their audience. Steve grinned into the kiss, knowing that he had more than won him over.


End file.
